Welcome to the last post in the N.E.S.T.S. series I really hope you have enjoyed reading the series as much as I have enjoyed to write it! I really feel that after sharing my N.E.S.T.S. journey with you all I have been able to reflect on how far I have come on my postpartum journey. I am eternally grateful to all my friends and family who have reached out to me since I have started to blog and for all the great feedback.
So support or social interaction is the most broad element of the N.E.S.T.S. series. It encompasses having and utilizing a support system of the people around you. For me, this was the actually the hardest one being new to Vancouver and having a non existent friends circle meant I was really alone. Even more so having a baby with very little female support was tough. My journey to obtain more support was two fold; confidence in my own ability to support myself and finding support around me.
On my personal journey to finding support within, I felt I was prepared for changing diapers and bath time and the constant feeds and overall but I didn’t anticipate the feeling of incompetence. I went from a fully functioning independent woman to someone who would come down for breakfast at lunchtime. It took a lot of time and effort to get into a routine where I felt more confident and more productive in my own skills as a somewhat contributing member of the family.The best advice I can give is to have faith in yourself and be kind to yourself. Even the second time around all I knew I needed was some time to get used to having two babies, I didn’t put too much pressure on myself and was patient with myself taking each day as it comes.
I want to share something I learnt at group counselling, a perspective into motherhood that I hadn’t heard of before – being a mother just as any job requires a certain adjustment period or training where you get to fully understand what the job entails and how to do it efficiently. As a standard this is anywhere from 3-5 months once you get the hang of the job you will perform better. This was made so much easier for me by BabyG and BabyJ, these two are nothing short of angels.
When I had BabyG, I had one friend and she was actually my savior on my new journey into motherhood. I soon after grew my friends circle to a small but perfect group of people who are now my go to people, my mum squad. As a new mother you feel as though you are meant to know everything about having a baby and how to take care of it AND be an amazing housewife and hostess but it really is not the reality at all. Not putting unnecessary pressure and stress on your self to be picture perfect will make you happier.
Support for me grew a lot more than just making friends as I actually learnt how to rely more on the people around me rather than having an attitude of “I should be able to do all this alone” which I feel most mums automatically assume. For some unknown reason we feel as though we need to be able to manage and juggle a whole host of new things that come along with motherhood and so we quickly burn out or are easily overwhelmed. This is not good for us, having a trusted group of people that you can ask for support alleviates the heavy burden we place on ourselves of being perfect rather than happy.
The support system I have now consists so many of my favorite people my husband, family, friends, colleagues, play group mums, workout buddies and health care providers. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many great people who are always there for me and have helped me so much on this journey. Everyone who I have turned to has helped me in so many ways to understand the journey of motherhood and given me an abundance of confidence in my own abilities.
I would urge all mums wherever you can find it: get Support!
Take care and happy reading!